a complication

tottttttttttttttttttttttt

as if there is a laser in front of me, that stopping me from crossing the line.

everytime i try, i became vibrated. and stopped. by the thin piece of light.

what am i gonna do now?

secret to success - eric thomas

first of all, i want to say that when i saw this video, i feel that i was spoilt, and that i didn't want to be a doctor so badly as i was supposed to be. kind of looser. but thanks to my friend yang post this kat facebook, because it made me realize my faultsss, and insyaAllah, i'll try to change my attitude, my bad attitude. insyaAllah.

bila lelaki puberty lambat

Assalamualaikum,

actually dari semalam, i nak tulis something about people. yang stereotype. yeahhhh.
and i memang dah tak boleh tangguh. sebab. nanti i lupa.
hmm...perlu ke merepek semua tu?

okay. straight to the point.
i don't like people, especially boys, yang mostly sebaya dengan i. sebab kebanyakan tak matang, and i know, lelaki memang lambat matang, maksud i tak suka is bukan suka boys and girls tu, but i don't like their mentality.

okay, i should explain more.
so here's the story. there's a boy in my class, this boy actually... tak berapa disukai la oleh classmates i yang lain..ada banyak sebab. and dalam kalangan girls pon, i dengar ada yang macam pandang as a freak. heh. takdelah freak sangat kan..okay, don't think that he's a nerdy because he's not, he actually very social. memang relax je. for me, he's not a problem, macam biasa je lah kan,

alah, i malas nak hurai panjang, but one of the factor, they said that dia bajet pandai.
the reason is that he selalu ask questions in the middle of the class. raise a hand and..ask.
and seriously, why did the boys kutuk dia macam tu?
i don't find any fault for raising up your hands and asking so many questions in the class?
so what? sebaliknya i rasa malu dengan diri sendiri bila tak angkat tangan tanya soalan dalam class..bila tak ada keyakinan diri macam ni, malu laaa...

huh. tu je, i just feel that making that as a topic untuk kutuk dia DARI BELAKANG is really not fair guys.. sebab itulah i tak berapa suka a group of guys yang main kawan like that, and man, lu olls, kalau suruh jadi SR lari kan?

sentimental.kejap.duh.

Assalamualaikum.

hye guys!
i just want to share with you something that i like, it's up to u nak bace ke taknak, cuz i think this post is not really beneficial for u guys, it's just sharing stories, and if u don't mind wasting your time reading this, feel free then :)

so, here is the story..

before i come to egypt, i did some research, ceh, research..kemain kau.., just google google la someone's blog to know some stories about egypt, how's the life in here, how's the study and all that,
so i pon terjumpa dengan tidak sengaja, one blog belongs to a brother, i tak tawu die year berapa or baru graduate ke ape, but, he study at the same university as i am..tapi i tak tawu die still kat sini or not,

but that's not a problem, kenapa i cakap pasal tu pulak eh?

haha.

oke, as i told u...i just nak share something i like, so here it is,a poem, made by that guy from this blog, his name is Anwar Azhari..

My harsh heart


You made me wonder,
how does it feel to have eyes luring upon you,
while all the intentions are not pure,
even if hopes can be held for the righteous one.
As every inch of you seems that they are carved by God Himself.

None of the composite in this world
should be able to sculp the perfect contour of yourself,
none of the mechanics on this very world
should be able to move your eyelashes as how yours does,
none of the phoners in this very world
should be able to vibe the air to your very laughs that amuses me.

Is it possible to have thy fairness, as an image
to lie first for each morning i wake up to?
Is it possible to have thy touch, to softens
my harsh hearts as to tame it down?
Is it possible to have thy eyes, as a gaze
that i would love to gaze, upon which nothing are true?

Perhaps not everything are possible in this world,
and so the relation of us, are not supposed to
be dreamed of from the beginning.
Perhaps your presence are only to enlightened
a moment of my life, to make me see
that God's creation and promises, are indeed true and real.
For Him, had created the angels that waits
for the truly pure hearted to touch her first, as never the devils
 nor their descendants had lured them by touch.

besides that, i think lagi satu ni pon blog die jugak kot, tak silap i laa... but i really want u guys to read this, because it really inspires me..about being a doctor. everytime i have probs with my studies, that really helps me..it makes my spirit bursting like a....err, okay, tu dah hiperbola dah..ehek. dah. malas nak cakap panjang..

just smile :)))))

and daaaaaaa

p/s: lelaki berpuisi. interesting. ahak.

starting a new life 1

Assalamualaikum.

and alhamdulillah.

i sangat sangat bersyukur sebab i selamat sampai di bumi anbia'. di bumi mesir ni pada 10 sept lepas.

and i'm so sooo sorry to u olls sebab i dah mendiamkan diri lama sangat dalam dunia blog ni.. it's because i'm so busy dengan preparation for my flight to egypt selama ni.

alhamdulillah  i dapat sambung belajar di university of alexandria kat sini dalam bulan depan kot. and now i'm in cairo..lepak sini dulu sebelum akak akak senior mari sini and fetch us. insyaAllah next week. doakan semuanya berjalan lancar kay guys :D

and one more...i miss malaysia a lot now.haha. but no home sick okay.hhaha.
i miss uitm(palam) and i miss j3.

and i miss my cat the most!
lupa nak bagitahu, didie dah beranak lima. and satu pon anak dia takda pon yang sama dengan dia. semua ikot father dia..haha, father~~~
semua ikot muka kekasih gelap didie. black colour..

okay, forget about that now sebab nanti i will tell the story in a special post - didie bt eddie

now, pictures tell everything :)

luggage:)

at the airport :)

ni rupa bentuk bangunan kat cairo. semuanya cokelat.haha.

ni tak silap kubu ape ntah.haha.sory lupa.

ni masjid 4 mazhab..kot.haha

cantik kan ukiran die ?

ni kubah kat tgh2 antara bilik keempat empat mazhab di setiap sudut of masjid 4 mazhab iaitu mazhab maliki, hanafi, hambali, and syafie..haa, pandai i kan~

pengunjung dari indonesia sedang solat :)

ni pula pengunjung dari mlaysia. cantik cantik semua.haha. termasuk diriku.hahaha. sory terperasan sikit ye adiq adiq qaqaq qaqaq!

ni makam king farouq.. i tak tahu pon sape king farouq ni sape sebenarnye, hurmm.. agak teruk la pengetahuan am i sebab mase tu kebetulan ade 2 orang western tourists sama sama ngan kitorang. i dengar la dorang cerita cerita pasal king farouq ni..rasa macam ya Allah.. kita ni macam tak ambil tahu pasal mende mende ni which is not good ye kawan kawan  :/
btw, makam ni dalam masjid al-hussain yaitu bersebelahan dengan masjid 4 mazhab tadi.
and dua dua masjid tu mempunyai ukiran dan reka bentuk yang cantik. dan bersejarah. amboi!

ni makam imam syafie...

rupa dalam masjid imam as-syafie

ni pulak tiang tempat imam syafie selalu sandar..

i guess that's all for now. nanti insyaAllah i akan update more. pasal jalan jalan shopping pulak. tadi lawatan je tu.  hehe. don't wait guys. sebab i sebenarnya pon tak tahu bila nak update. u know~

i belum ade tempat tinggal tetap lagi.just wait. thanks guys!!

path

assalamualaikum..

something in my head had asked me to write about my feelings now.

firsly, i feel sort of sad. actually bukan sedih sangat, tapi terkilan. of course terkilan.. i just feel sad when something bad happened to me and someone come and said to me this "uhm..kesian dia"
and sebab tu ade that 'sort of' tadi. sebab i taklah sedih sangat tapi lebih kepada terkilan la.. because you know, when something that you really hope to happen doesn't come to you..

sebelum ni, i dah memang lapang hati lah, about my studies.. apa nak jadi, jadi lah, tak depend kat i pon benda tu, sume tu Allah punye kerja. bila kita dah buat sehabis tenaga kita..and bila i tawu semalam, i punya interview mara didn't get far, i was like.. "okay, takpe"

and really, sekarang pon i okay je...serious. maybe because my A+ tak banyak. maybe, i'm not fully bumiputera. yeah.. i'm mix. maybe because masa interview tak cukup elok. maybe because mara kurangkan quota untuk study middle east tahun ni..sure. banyak sangat kemungkinan. because we're not perfect, right? ^^

and what makes me sad is actually when i realized that i'm not a kid anymore. i'm choosing my path now! laluan hidup..yes. laluan hidup. normally, i will be kind of sentimental whenever i look into the stars. malam malam. so, this is it. my mood sekarang ni tengah swinging. i rasa agak sedih bila i sedar yang i akan lalui semua benda sekarang ni sorang sorang. walaupun, i still have my families at my side, my friends.. but it's not the same now. i think i'm a bit spoilt, maybe. ah, i don't know! really..

how the things change. a lot of things change. at least in my life. u won't be bother with all of these ' things-changing' but for me, it gives me some kind of feeling like yeah-thats-life. when, last year, i was spending my time reading books in my parents shop, and in a blink of eye, now, the shop is gone. the company was corrupted. and we're just spending time together in our house doing nothing, just waiting money when we sold our house. and yeah. that's life. somehow, my parents still want to send me overseas with our own money. like..it doesn't make any sense alright..

and yeah..i'm just gonna repeat the sentence : that's life okay.

if we fail, stand up again. fail, stand up again. fail, stand up again.

because that's life.haha
sometimes, we have to accept the reality, and study that life's like that. growing is to accept the reality to build up our life, just don't give up. ^^

when i said, i want to be a surgeon, someone will laugh.
and when i failed, another someone will laugh. that's just normal.
and yeah, i'm saying that i'm gonna be a surgeon. so what?
even if i'm failed, so what?
everybody can dream. but, not everybody can make the dream become real. that's just normal.

i remember, last 4 years, i just want to be a surgeon. because i saw this. i know it sounds funny.haha

but now, i guess i have to study harder to get  what i want. i'm not running away from my dreams.

that's all. :)

berita tergempar!

Ya, Assalamualaikum dan Salam Sejahtera.

ehem.

umum mengetahui bahawa keputusan spm atau sijil pelajaran malaysia telah pun dikeluarkan oleh kementerian pelajaran pada 21 mac 2012 yang lalu.

dan hasilnya amatlah memberangsangkan.

'saya amat bersyukur kerana pada tahun ini saya dapat meningkatkan prestasi peperiksaan saya sahaja walaupun sebenarnya tidaklah berapa pandai. berkat doa dan sokongan ramai terutamanya ahli keluarga dan rakan rakan baik saya, saya mendapat straight A's dalam spm 2011!" kata aisya adam selaku penulis blog 'bibir berkarat'

p/s: real story. semalam tak keluar paper pon muka aisya adam ni dapat straight. tapi serious. dia ni sungguh la berlagak macam muka dah keluar paper.tapi. serious lagi sekali. dia tak caye pon dapat result camtu. and lastly serious gila. ni memang real story!
 praise to Allah. and only to Him:)

the future is not ours to see

hello?

talking about the future.. i'm a bit worried. and i rase takde orang yang tak pernah terpikir pasal masa depan masing masing even bebudak bohsia or wempiwtz wempiwtz sekalian. semua orang mesti pernah risau apela akan jadi dengan hidup aku mase beso nanti ye? sape la jadi suami aku ye nanti? *hehe

so.. i rase sedikit keliru. for those yang sudah berkerjaya. i rase lainlah yang dirisaukan. ape yang kita dah ade ni boleh berubah kan? boleh naik pangkat lagi..or whatever else..but for me yang baru lepasan sekolah yang sedang menanam anggur di tepi rumah ni kan..SPM result akan datang. adakah okay? itu satu kes. wajib dah menggigil ketakutan kan.. satu lagi kes. apa aku nak jadi nanti? i mean, cita cita yang masih belum jelas.

what should i follow? minat or permintaan semasa or gaji yang lebih lumayan..or and or...

macam la pandai sangat kan.hehe

and most of the people. akan cakap 'follow your passion'

my passion? and that too is a problem.haha. conflict jiwa yang takkan berhenti. minat. minat.. banyak. kerja yang i suka..cheh.kerja.haha. oke. i suka 'study' science. and i suka kerja yang tak boleh buat i boring. which brings me to minat tadi balik. i like kerja yang mencabarr. and that science is not just science. to be more specific. doctor. and moreeee specific. surgeon. but what?? surgeon? yela surgeon. bedah jantung, bedah apa apa lah except tulang. KAU NI MEMANG BERANGAN TAHAP TAIK LA!

lawak. gila lawak. surgeon? and most of the people will say that. nak seribu daya taknak seribu dalih. and kalau dah minat, kita akan berusaha sampai muntah darah pon. but...still..fikir fikirkan balik memang best kot kerja yang boleh boleh buat adrenaline ni naik. tahap gelabah.haha but still...it's too hard. too hard for me. and i pasti i akan give up di tengah tengah jalan. because it's me. kalau bukan give tengah jalan pon, mesti dapat result bulan 3 ni. berkecailah cita citaku yang tinggi menggunung tu. hurm..

tu minat. sape sape je boleh buat apa je with minat.. but they are among the best while i'm not. of course. i'm a looser..

tambah lagi kata kata rangsangan sekeliling yang sangat memberangsangkan ' keje doktor ni dah la study penat keje pon penat, gaji ciput jo'

berdasarkan statistik mane ntah peratus doktor yang paling tinggi ade masalah physology adalah surgeon,haa.. satu lagi kata kata pembikin turun semangat.

follow your passion. even awak minat dalam bidang sastera pon. but if you struggle gila gila then you'll get something. mane tawu awak boleh jadi kerani PM? ( aku tak tahu betol ke tak teori ni)

sometimes, i like to see suasana kerja orang orang corporate. fly everywhere. meeting sano sini. fun. dress up dengan kot bagai. hey. best kot. but still. you have to go through a long long way in your life. and i guess kerja kerja pejabat ni a bit boring. it's just the working style yang interesting.

i love drawing. maybe. i should try jadi architect. but. peluang pekerjaan bagi i tak cerah sangat kan?

and that. between passion.. interesting working style and peluang pekerjaan bidang engineering or architecture yang tak la cerah mane which means that we must be among the best to get what we want..

so? still takde decision. that's soo me:)

p/s:  sometimes your fate and your dreams will collide~
pp/s: the flame of passion is always hottest when served up wet.