something in my head had asked me to write about my feelings now.
firsly, i feel sort of sad. actually bukan sedih sangat, tapi terkilan. of course terkilan.. i just feel sad when something bad happened to me and someone come and said to me this "uhm..kesian dia"
and sebab tu ade that 'sort of' tadi. sebab i taklah sedih sangat tapi lebih kepada terkilan la.. because you know, when something that you really hope to happen doesn't come to you..
sebelum ni, i dah memang lapang hati lah, about my studies.. apa nak jadi, jadi lah, tak depend kat i pon benda tu, sume tu Allah punye kerja. bila kita dah buat sehabis tenaga kita..and bila i tawu semalam, i punya interview mara didn't get far, i was like.. "okay, takpe"
and really, sekarang pon i okay je...serious. maybe because my A+ tak banyak. maybe, i'm not fully bumiputera. yeah.. i'm mix. maybe because masa interview tak cukup elok. maybe because mara kurangkan quota untuk study middle east tahun ni..sure. banyak sangat kemungkinan. because we're not perfect, right? ^^
and what makes me sad is actually when i realized that i'm not a kid anymore. i'm choosing my path now! laluan hidup..yes. laluan hidup. normally, i will be kind of sentimental whenever i look into the stars. malam malam. so, this is it. my mood sekarang ni tengah swinging. i rasa agak sedih bila i sedar yang i akan lalui semua benda sekarang ni sorang sorang. walaupun, i still have my families at my side, my friends.. but it's not the same now. i think i'm a bit spoilt, maybe. ah, i don't know! really..
how the things change. a lot of things change. at least in my life. u won't be bother with all of these ' things-changing' but for me, it gives me some kind of feeling like yeah-thats-life. when, last year, i was spending my time reading books in my parents shop, and in a blink of eye, now, the shop is gone. the company was corrupted. and we're just spending time together in our house doing nothing, just waiting money when we sold our house. and yeah. that's life. somehow, my parents still want to send me overseas with our own money. like..it doesn't make any sense alright..
and yeah..i'm just gonna repeat the sentence : that's life okay.
if we fail, stand up again. fail, stand up again. fail, stand up again.
because that's life.haha
sometimes, we have to accept the reality, and study that life's like that. growing is to accept the reality to build up our life, just don't give up. ^^
when i said, i want to be a surgeon, someone will laugh.
and when i failed, another someone will laugh. that's just normal.
and yeah, i'm saying that i'm gonna be a surgeon. so what?
even if i'm failed, so what?
everybody can dream. but, not everybody can make the dream become real. that's just normal.
i remember, last 4 years, i just want to be a surgeon. because i saw this. i know it sounds funny.haha
but now, i guess i have to study harder to get what i want. i'm not running away from my dreams.
that's all. :)
